#10 ~ Toastmasters ~ Project 10 : Admitting mistakes and learning from them

    

The man was among the most powerful people in the universe. Even today, his wife rides on the tornado of popularity weaved by him. He was loved by all. He had the power, charm and suavity to influence probably anyone. And then! He stood accused at the center of a Sex Scandal with one of his interns, which he denied initially. All of a sudden; he started getting mocked, derided and became the butt of all the jokes worldwide. For several months, he remained quite a hot-topic of accusations and media speculations. Charges of a false testimony and his influencing the case led to the beginning of his impeachment, a formal procedure to de-throne a Public Official. But finally, he blew the lid off by admitting to the much talked-about affair in a Public address to the nation and apologized for the same. He could have easily gone ahead with a string of some more lies but that’s what separates a true leader from the herd. Some of you might have guessed it right - The name of the intern is Monica Lewinsky. The man being talked about is Bill Clinton, the 42nd President of United States of America and the husband of Hillary Clinton, a potential candidate to be the next US President.

If Salman Khan had admitted his fault of killing a person sleeping on footpath, then he might have saved his prestige from getting soiled and would have abstained from visiting the court for his bails. Confessing your fault in front of public needs generosity and humbleness and that is all.

Self-ego is the prime reason for not admitting the mistakes. The thought that one would be considered as a defaulter in front of public, abstain us from accepting our faults. Also, how would our closed ones react to it when they’ll get to know about this? This is reason, we keep running away from our mistakes, circumlocuting the facts and evidences and hide our faults.

My mother always used to say “Mistakes done first time are not the mistakes but the lesson for the next time, when repeated they are not mistakes, they are blunders.” It is important to learn from your previous mistake as those can help you becoming a more submissive and obedient person.

You can only learn from a mistake after you admit you’ve made it. As soon as you start blaming other people (or the universe itself) you distance yourself from any possible lesson. But if you courageously stand up and honestly say “This is my mistake and I am responsible” the possibilities for learning will move towards you. Admission of a mistake, even if only privately to yourself, makes learning possible by moving the focus away from blame assignment and towards understanding. Wise people admit their mistakes easily. They know progress accelerates when they do.

Learning from mistakes requires three things:

• Putting yourself in situations where you can make interesting mistakes

• Having the self-confidence to admit to them

• Being courageous about making changes

The more complicated the mistake you’ve made, the more patient you need to be. There’s nothing worse than waving around trying to fix something you don’t understand: you’ll always make things worse.

I remember as a kid when our beloved Atari 2600 game system started showing static on the screen during games. The solution my brother and I came up with? Smack the machine as hard as we could (A clear sign I had the intellect for management). Amazingly this worked for a while, but after weeks of regular beatings the delicate electronics eventually gave out. We were lazy, ignorant and impatient, and couldn’t see that our solution would work against us.

His e-commerce company, Alibaba, attracts 100 million shoppers a day. But before he was the richest person in China, Ma went through a lot of rejection. Once he ruled out college, Ma applied for 30 different jobs and got rejected. He went for a job with the police; they said, 'you're no good, he even went to KFC when it came to hiscity. Twenty-four people went for the job. Twenty-three were accepted. he was the only guy..."When Ma founded Alibaba in 1998, he was met with more obstacles.The brand didn't turn a profit for the first three years, and Ma had to get creative. One of the company's main challenges was that it had no way to do payments and no banks would work with him.Ma decided to start his own payment program called Alipay. The program transfers payments of different currencies between international buyers and sellers."So many people I talked to at that time about Alipay, they said, 'this is the stupidest idea you've ever had,'" he said. "I didn't care if it was stupid as long as people could use it."Today, 800 million people use Alipay and now Jack Ma is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world.

When such people can keep trying every possibility in their venture to raise from ashes then why do most of us give up as the biggest mistake of our lives and quit. The only thing required to keep moving and learning is never quit.

If you think not performing well in front of the audience is the biggest mistake of your life, then you are mistaken. If you think that you doubt your long lasting relationship for money, then it’s the biggest mistake of your life, then you are mistaken, if you think you can earn more money without working hard, then it’s the biggest mistake of the your life. If you think mistakes are meant to be made and continue committing them then it is the biggest mistake of your life. Last but not the least, committing mistakes is not a harm but not accepting them and learning from them is the biggest mistake.

-Shruti 

#9 ~ Toastmasters ~ Project 9 : Live like them, be like them!

               

I may not have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth but with the fingers of my mother clutched hard under my soft gums.

I may not have ridden on expensive rides but had enjoyed swinging on the back and legs of my father.

I may not have been sent to expensive schools but the preaching’s by my parents are still instilled in me.

I may not have got a chance of sleeping on those comfortable mattresses but the lap of my mother has always been the coziest place for me.

I may not have been taken to restaurants to eat those delicacies but each bite of food put to mouth by my mom was the tastiest ever.

After all they are our parents. Salute to parenthood!

Parents are the one who would refuse to buy a saree or a pair of trousers only to save money and pay the admission fee for their tiny tots.

“Our children come first” is the attitude shown by our parents and very few children realize it nowadays. They don’t feel the real worth of their parents anymore.

Parents can give birth and cater the needs of 10 children. But 10 children can’t take care of 2 parents. It’s easy to speak but hard to realize.  We may have succeeded to meet our goals and aspirations in our careers but have failed to spend time with our dear parents. Each day we are minting money to make our lives better and cater our parents’ need but my dear friends, our parents don’t need our money what they really need is our love, our time , our support and our attention.

This reminds me of a real life story of my neighbor Mr. Khurana. He was a retd. Lieutenant from Indian Army and was staying with his wife and a servant Ramu kaka. Mr. Khurana’s only son was settled in Australia and used to visit them once in two years. Whenever they used to call him up “Son!! Today your mother is missing you a lot since she saw you all in her dreams last night and wants to meet you, Please plan to come over and visit us”. Then there is this reply from him “Dad I have told you so many times, I have meeting, don’t call me at this time of the day. Bye! I will call you back.”  Son forgets to call his parents and then dad calls him again and says “How are you son? How is our grand daughter?? These days we are facing a lot of issues with the car, we need it often as we have to take your mother to the doctor.” He then says “Mummy- Papa, you don’t have to worry, I have asked Ramu kaka to get it fixed.” Such children don’t realize that their parents are not looking for their extended support but them.

Next week, the son himself calls up and says “Dad I have talked to an old age home for you and mom and you will get shifted there soon since mom is not keeping up well. Also, we are paying unnecessarily to Ramu kaka.”  Without any arguments and mess, Mr. Khurana agreed to shift to an old age home along with his bed ridden wife.  When relatives visited Mrs. and Mr. Khurana at the old age home, they were always happy and said “Raj, now has a small family, he has so many responsibilities to look upon, he keeps busy all day long in his work and is unable to find time to look after us. Also it was becoming difficult for him, so he has sent us here. And, we are both are enjoying being here, we are served new dishes, clothes are old though, but we still are happy.

Such is the magnanimity of our parents! Again salute to parenthood.

Have we forgotten those days, when our mother used to sleep on the wet beds despite being ill and made us sleep on the parched ones? She agreed upon having the left over but always fed her children first. How can we forget the toil of our fathers who used to teach us every evening because he couldn’t afford our tuition fee despite getting tired from the work?
Their never “SAY NO” attitude has continued to make us become more demanding and neglecting their basic needs.
When our parents can save for our brighter future then why can’t we save for their older and better future?

When our parents can invest most of their time teaching us, feeding us well, caring, knowing about our whereabouts then why do we find them as a burden and send them to prison like shelter homes under the observation of unknown people and assume they would be happy there.
This is the harsh reality my dear friends. Old age homes have got plenty of singles and married couples who have been captivated by the children like us. These places might serve food, shelter and clothing but not the love of their children. Friends!! These parents are in dire need of your support and not money.  Don’t forget to give them little space in your homes and much more in your hearts.  One day, you have to reach this juncture of life too. And imagine this happening to you, when you are yelling in pain and the closest ones are missing to listen to you.

At the end, I would like to say, share happiness and memories with your parents, enjoy every discussion over the dinner table, give them also a chance to share their experience and learn from them. And don’t forget to take their blessings after all, Love begins at home, it can’t be bought or sold.

-Shruti

#8 ~ Toastmasters ~ Project 8 :The lifeless Inspirational beings

                                             

Can anyone of you tell me the task performed by the objects kept on this table?
These objects might appear lifeless to you but their presence can reveal a lot of meaningful thoughts.
My dear Toastmasters and guests, our life is confined to a handful number of living beings, their emotions, thoughts and actions. There are many lifeless objects around us used in day to day life that cater to some or the other need.
Have you ever wondered that these beings can actually make us learn a lot from them, apart from what they perform?
This is a thousand-rupee currency note. Suppose I say I will give it to you. Will you take it? Yes you will.
What if I fold it and give it to you? Will you still take it? Yes you will.
What if crumple it and throw it in a dustbin? Will you still take it? Yes you will.
It doesn’t matter what I do to this money. It is still a thousand-rupee currency note. Its value remains intact.

Similarly so often in your lives, you will be crumpled, trampled, ill-treated, insulted, and yet, despite all that; you will still be worth the same. Don’t let such things lower your self-esteem. Just hold yourself high!
Having held your self-esteem high, you need to live with peace and harmony in this world. And to live with peace, what better could be there to teach you other than this Dustbin.

Sounds weird? Not actually! Dustbin can accommodate all the discarded stuff to the maximum possible extent. Now, observe the irony here. It lets us throw all the trash and garbage in it. Even then, it silently accepts all. Similarly, it is highly likely that people throw stones on you, pull you down, say harsh words to you but you ought to remain calm and composed and wait for the right moment to reply.

Also, when the Dustbin is filled up to the brim, it starts flowing out. In the same way, take out your fear and grudges and reveal it to the person closest to you/ a close confidant.
There is always a cleaning day for that Dustbin. So once in a while, clean all the negative energies from yourself and rejuvenate yourself with inner happiness.

If you hold a candle close to you, its flame rises. And if you turn it away, its flame shrinks. The same way you hold a candle close to yourself, keep all your plans, aspirations, projects, and dreams close to yourself as well. Do not share your plans or goals until you accomplish them, because as you hold your candle away from yourself, your goals will shrink in the eyes of others. Envy, jealousy, and resentment will put out your flame before it grows. Never reveal what you are doing until you have accomplished it. Resentment does not only come from those close to you, but also from strangers. Therefore, fiercely guard the passions burning inside your heart, so that their flames can safely reach the highest ceilings of success without the eyes of envy. Such selfless attitude is taught to us by this humble candle. It burns itself completely till the last drop of wax. In the same way, we can light up lives of many people through our knowledge and let others get benefitted from it. We can work hard just to enlighten people.

Last but not the least, there is wisdom underlying common objects. As one of my friends penned down these few lines for me:
“Wisdom, Wisdom, everywhere,
In everything under the sun;
Wisdom, wisdom, everywhere,
You just need to seek and learn.

-Shruti

#7 ~ Toastmasters ~ Project 7 : Being left handed is not a sin

Sure, lefties make up about 10 percent of the population — but, frankly, it seems like society has forgotten about them. Just consider all of the right-handed gadgets, awkwardly designed desks, and cooking tools that fit comfortably only in your right hand. Imagine! How does it feel while you are sitting for an exam and the person sitting next to you gets irritated because you have intruded into most of his covered area through your tilted answer sheet and periodically poking your elbows into his’.

I still am clueless about why people give that glance at the person who does his tasks by left hand. They give this glare (action) with a mouth wide open, Are you a lefty? I never knew this as if it is some news in the limelight that he is unaware of :O

Good evening charming ladies and gentlemen. How many of you in the house are Lefties?? See no one. Except me. The feeling of being a lefty is similar to that being differently abled.

Some of them get so thrilled when they meet us and say “hey! Could you please try writing with a right hand! It will be fun :P” Then those giggles you hear when they see you scribbling on the sheet-like a 2-year-old.

I got to hear from my mom when I was a toddler and was sent to a play school. I was made to hold a pencil in my hand. And I responded to it by holding it in left hand instead of right. My teacher was surprised to see me holding the pencil in left hand and immediately told my mother that your daughter is a lefty. Please compel her in writing with the right as it is not good. My mother consulted our family doctor about this habit of mine and he suggested not to compel her to do as this will have a negative impact on the brain and it will remain underdeveloped. So, I was never forced upon to write or perform tasks with the right hand.

Research states that about 85-92% of world’s population is estimated to be born right-handed which also causes some bias against left-handers as parents under societal pressure, ignorance or religious miscommunication forces their children to switch to the right hand.

Another day, I was reading an article wherein anonymous guy narrated that he was born left handed and when his mother discovered that he was exerting too much pressure on her fingers from the left hand when he was 2 months old. At such a tender age she made sure his left hand remained immobile most of the time (though not uncomfortably) and was forced to use right hand freely that eventually became his dominant hand. When he grew up, he did some research and found out that the brain is divided into two hemispheres. Left and the Right hemispheres. Left hemisphere affects the right side of your body and right hemisphere affects the left side of the body. The left hemisphere deals with logic, words and language, mathematics, science, order/pattern perception, practical and reality. The right hemisphere deals with imagination, creativity, spatial perception, “big picture” orientation, symbols, images, and feelings. If the left side of the brain is dominant, the person prefers right hand and vice versa. Our whole physical being is interconnected ever since we are born and forcing to go against natural dominance puts a lot of harmful pressure.

Forcing a left-handed to be right-handed causes reduced activity in the dominant right hemisphere and increase activity in the non-dominant side. Since creativity and imagination are dominant parts of the right brain, they will remain under-developed and the left-side of the brain sees increased activity that deals with reality, facts and logic which implies to the characteristics that are opposite of the person’s true potential.

This doesn’t mean that left-handers are devoid of logic or right-handers lack creativity, it just points towards what comes as naturally and more easily to the person due to dominant side of the brain. So if anyone you know is forcing a born left-handed toddler or child to be right-handed, please enlighten them and stop them from hindering the child’s growth. It is not advisable to force and yes, it is not un-Islamic as well to be left-handed as some belief.

This is Shruti Mehta signing off with her speech Being a Left handed is really a sin??as a question open for you all. 

Thanks!

-Shruti